Don’t Be A Dick
Fenwick Smith's foreign policy.Last week, when my doorbell rang at the optimum moment between my boyfriend leaving for work and me leaving for work—a thirty minute gap that seems to be the only time my local police station does any work—I knew who would be waiting even before I wrenched the reinforced steel door open.
I had my passport, foreign expert certificate and residence permit all primed and ready in a nearby drawer. Almost before the barely post-pubescent police officer opened his mouth, my papers were thrust in his face with a winsome grin and a cheeky, “I’ve got my documents ready, elder brother.”
I knew all about the 100 days of checks. I knew I’d have to fill in forms, answer questions about myself, my work and my partner. I was cool with that. After all, I have had nothing to hide since I went legal three years ago. One hour later, the scruffy, besneakered officer departed and I whistled on my way to work, an hour late. Okay, so they had checked my boyfriend’s hukou and ID information. No problem. He’s legal, too.
Later that day, the horror stories started to trickle in. One friend’s entire office had been threatened with “deportation on sight” if they failed to present documentation on demand. Another acquaintance, also legal, had been hauled into a side room at her local paichusuo, told her visa was a fake and she’d have to leave the country. She was rescued by the timely arrival of a Chinese friend to vouch for her. I heard tell of random roadside checks, police sweeps on Sanlitun bars, and witnessed for myself police announcements with an immense and, ironically, white fist crushing the sanfei—the “three illegals.”
No big deal, I said to myself. This is just the police justifying the continued extension of the immigration enforcement budget they got during the Olympics that has never been scaled down.
The police don’t upset me. Even when they’re being assholes to my face, which seems to be whenever they’re not busy refusing to answer callouts. This is what upsets me:
As soon as I got wind of this video, I knew it meant trouble. The guy was a rapist; he deserved no less than he got. The girl was a victim—a fact ignored by the purportedly “outraged” netizens gleefully circulating compromising images of her without a thought as to how they might feel if images of them being raped were circulated everywhere. The vigilantes who dealt with him (barring Mr. Brave who courageously puts the boot in when the villain is definitively out for the count) aren’t necessarily worthy of praise, but we can understand their violent reaction to such a flagrant and despicable act.
No attempt, however, to put his crime in perspective matters. Because the guy was a foreigner. Drunk, yes, visibly a douchebag, yes, but a foreigner. Which changes everything.
Had this been a Chinese-on-Chinese atrocity, it’d probably still have done the rounds online, particularly if the perpetrator were an official. But people would have likely shrugged and said, “These things happen. He’s a vile beast, but he got what he deserved, hope she can recover from her ordeal, blah, blah, blah, next self-immolation story, please.”
But since the perpetrator was a foreigner, cue a raft of “bad foreigner” videos, ranging from Sweaty Feet Gate to Korean KFC Gate. Cue 100 days of crackdowns. Cue the inevitable Weibo shitstorm, talk of the Opium Wars, the Carving Up Of China, Lin Zexu, the Rape of Nanking, and, finally, the standoff with the Philippines. Nationalism and sex are melded into one—the attempted rape of this poor girl outside a subway station is a microcosm of the rape of China by foreigners, past and present.
When a foreigner commits a crime, particularly a sexual crime, in China, it’s different. Just as it’s different when a foreigner comes to the aid of a Chinese citizen, or simply shares their Happy Meal with a Chinese beggar. Symbolically, the rules change. Foreigners, regardless of nationality, all belong to that one unified entity which is guowai. One offends, and, as far as the locals are concerned, we’re all at fault.
When a foreigner does good, it’s better than a Chinese person doing good. When a foreigner does bad, it’s worse than a Chinese person doing bad. This isn’t right, but it’s the way things are, and any attempt to quiet the rhetoric around a foreigner’s attempted rape of a Chinese girl, or a foreigner’s refusal to move his feet off a Chinese person’s headrest on the train, doesn’t look like a call for calm, reasoned perspective. It looks like an attempt to justify the unjustifiable. We don’t like it, but them’s the rules.
Which is why I try so hard to be one of the “good foreigners” in China. It goes back to a mortal dread of the police as a child—I’d smile waveringly at any officer who crossed my path in a pathetic desire for them to think of me as a “good lad.” I do the same when passing through the trouser-soaking Homeland Security checkpoints on my visits to the States. In China, too, I cooperate with the police to an absurd degree. I even feel guilty when I run a red light on my bicycle, even though I’m in the middle of a crowd of fifty Chinese cyclists doing the same. I take care to be culturally sensitive, even when criticizing China to my Chinese friends, to whose cultural knowledge I constantly defer. I try to be polite and courteous even when confronted with downright abusive service people. I attempt to queue even when such attempts are futile. I keep much of my knowledge of China, acquired through four years of study and four years of residence, to myself in most social situations, so as not to come off as the arrogant foreigner who thinks he knows China better than the Chinese.
Why do I do this? So that when dicks like tracksuit-rape-man do what they do, Chinese friends, co-workers and acquaintances will think of me, and think, “Well, I know a foreigner, and he’s not at all like that. I don’t think he’s ever attempted to rape anyone.”
It’s important I make this effort. Because, in China, if you’re white, all eyes are upon you, all of the time. Deportment, even in relative privacy, will be observed and judged by all but the most intimate friends.
To those who are railing against Chinese xenophobia—I appreciate your gripes. But you won’t change a goddamn thing.
We may hate to do it, but we have to dispense with the “this is who I am” bullshit that might work in the States. By hook or by crook, we’re ambassadors here, and unless we all moderate our behavior, every last one of us will be tipped as a potential tracksuited rapist.
You want to get drunk? Fine—but if someone throws a punch, you’ll have to be the better person and roll with it. Anything else and you’ll become the bad guy. Dating a local? Go for it, but don’t slobber all over him or her in public and expect people to react as they would if you were both of the same nationality. Abusive waiter? Kill him or her with unflappable kindness. Irritate that egomaniacal cop or passport official by complying meekly and wholeheartedly with their requests, no matter how absurd. And finally, don’t complain of police harassment if you’re working illegally and you get into trouble for having a tourist visa. You knew you were breaking the law. You got caught.
Follow the “don’t be a dick” rule, and, at best, people will think and speak highly of you. At worst, they’ll have nothing to say on the subject of foreigners. Either way, we’ll all have a quiet life.
Is this plea a capitulation to a xenophobic police state? Damn right. Why? Because it’s the xenophobic police state I happen to live in and right or wrong, this is their turf and we follow their rules.
Who knows, your saintlike behavior might make you the star of your very own Internet meme. And if, in the future, the authorities deem it appropriate to deport or incarcerate the lot of us, maybe, just maybe, all those people we’ve been an example to will step in and defend us.
Why has nobody commented on this post yet? It’s excellent. It’s what I have been thinking about for a long time. I’m married to a local girl, so in addition to towing the family line (they bought us a flat for a wedding present, paid for the decoration, so there is also an element of respect in that) I take care at work (I an the only foreigner, ever) and stick my bag through the security checks on the metro.
Like you said, it ain’t right, but it’s the only way. Heck, some the of grandmas in our compound call me the “polite foreigner”. Small success. But it all counts.
“(I an the only foreigner, ever) and stick my bag through the security checks on the metro.”
I stopped doing that the second I heard the Almighty Brendan O’Kane relate on one of the Popup Chinese episodes that the Subway Scanner company was owned by Hu Jintao’s Grandson/Nephew etc. Now whenever I walk past the Metro guys I bow and utter something in Korean to stun them for a couple seconds. Doesn’t matter. It’s not like they’re watching the screen anyway. Two words: 愤怒。小鸟。
自卑+自负，不光你们矛盾，中国人也很矛盾。突然出现这么多老外。中国的习俗在别人家或者陌生的地方要保持礼貌。所以不幸的是你们即在别人家也在陌生的地方，要一直保持礼貌。中国人呢，来的都是客，以前是热情的招待。现在客人越来越多，素质不高的自然也会出现。好的坏的都有才是真实情况呢。
不过话说这次检查这么严重后面说不定有什么呢
Absolutely right on target. We have to go out of our way to be good and kind, friendly, polite and calm, to counter the bad impressions left by others (and ourselves on bad days). Something I have to work hard to remind myself of on many occasions.
WOW great post!! I like the “don’t be a dick” rule, and with living in a foreign country they can always kick us out if they like!!
Spot on!
I feel sad saying this, but at certain points while living in Shenzhen I felt some shame because I was a foreigner, especially when you go to a bar to have a drink with your (Chinese friends).
Some foreigners act like they own the place, just because they’re white and have some money…
I was the only foreigner in my building complex, of course I got stared at, but you can see people start to like you if you just give them a smile or hold the door for them.
Even though they can’t communicate with you, you can see they try their best to say something.
I know some foreigners go to China for the wrong reasons (Eg. they have failed in their own country and think they can just make it in China) and I think those people don’t belong there.
So in a way it’s good that they’re doing checks, but on the other hand I can feel some people getting upset by this.
Great comment Wouter, completely agree.
By and large, striving to be a little more polite, tolerant, and flexible than the average Joe (Zhou) makes good sense while living as a guest in a foreign country.
However, I’ve got one major gripe with this line of thinking: how do we presume to know the standard of “Chinese-ness” to which we blend and harmonize our behaviors? The obvious fact is that definitions of correct behavior vary greatly within any population. All the more so in a country that contains such vast differences of wealth, geography and culture as China. What is a considerate foreign guest to do?
You’re absolutely right that I should be conscious that I will be judged as representative of my country and culture, but I have the firm belief that if I behave in an reasonable and dignified way, even in my conflicts with Chinese people, that many Chinese observers will be able to judge for themselves that while I may do things a bit differently than some (but not all) of them would, in the end I am generally a decent guy. Should they then draw conclusions about all laowai from my behavior, I’m ok with that. I’d hate for them to think we are a bunch of alcoholic rapists, but I equally detest the idea that they would conclude we are all a bunch of bland, affable pushovers.
With regard to our accused laowai rapist, I have already had a few conversations with Chinese people where I affirm that rape is wrong, that this guy is a mess, that he deserved to get caught, and absolutely should be punished according to law if found guilty. But I also take the opportunity to point out that no unconscious man needs to get his chest stomped on. Once he was detained, it should have fallen into police hands. I also point out that i hope they won’t judge all foreigners based on one video. These are just reasonable things to say, and they are important for me to say as a foreigner who has witnessed xenophobic assaults against non-Chinese. I say these things as politely as I can, and I am careful not to make accusations or assumptions about Chinese beliefs and attitudes. But I make sure they are said. And plenty of Chinese people say these things too. It borders on racism to assume that all Chinese people are incapable of understanding these trains of thought, or that some of them might not actually agree with you.
Sure, I personally wish more foreigners would tone down some behaviors that irk Chinese people, like reflexive China-bashing, loud house parties (there are plenty of bars to drink in folks!), and not bothering to learn a lick of Chinese. But at the same time, don’t count me among the ranks of love-it-or-leave-it, self-abasing Sinophile automatons. China wants to be a global player. Part of our job as ambassadors is to introduce some of our Chinese friends, neighbors, and co-workers to the differing opinions, attitudes and ways of doing things that are out there.
Good points, well made. I detest the pathetic, toadying CCTV Sinobot brigade that Party propaganda would have us believe represent the most highly-evolved variety of foreigner – i.e. someone who will praise all aspects of Chinese culture while grinning like a Cheshire cat and acting the fool on camera. For money.
I would hate to live in a China where foreigners behaved like that. But being culturally aware, sensitive and polite doesn’t mean morphing into a cross between Mark Rowswell and Stephon Marbury.
By all means share your informed opinions, and if they are well expressed you will meet with little resistance from Chinese friends. I don’t argue against that in my piece at all – I enjoy constructive debate with Chinese people about China-related topics, and see it as part of my job as an ambassador to share my views, offer counterpoints based on my own cultural experience, and dispel the myth that foreigners know nothing about China.
But things change when we’re in public. Step for a moment into the shoes of a local. Say a Chinese student at your college in the US, or wherever, began to sound off in the bar about the US political system, American cuisine or the “propaganda” on American news networks. How would you feel? You may agree broadly with some sentiments, but in my experience criticism tends to chafe more when it comes from the outside. You’d probably not be surprised when some jock cracked them across the jaw, though you would most likely not be the one throwing the punch.
The same caution applies here. If you truly have a well-rounded understanding of an issue (by which, I mean, you can speak for both sides), then share it among friends, coworkers or other acquaintances as you would anywhere. But when your angle veers more toward the negative, tread carefully, as you’re on someone else’s turf. Among friends this isn’t a problem – I can speak pretty freely about my feelings on China with my good Chinese friends and feel confident that if they disagree, the issue will be reasonably debated in an adult fashion – or I’ll be told to stop moaning and get on with my life.
In public, even what you perceive to be perfectly reasonable comment can be a powder keg, because you have no clue as to which chest-stomping asshole might be listening in.
My article focuses mainly on the importance of maintaining a saintly public profile – it was public assholery conducted by foreigners that led to this crackdown.
“importance of maintaining a saintly public profile”
Right. Everyone’s nice when they first get here.
And then they magically turn to assholes.
I wonder why. Maybe it’s the first time someone cuts in front of them at the McDonalds, or on the Subway. Or maybe its the first, or fiftieth, time someone rips them off. Or maybe they got their phone stolen. Or maybe when their Chinese picks up they start to hear bad things being said about them… unbelievable things. Hmm.. I wonder where it comes from? Damn you Jaded Foreigners, learning from Experience. You’re so kooky!
I’ve given money to Charity, and I’ve given 100yuan bills to homeless people here. I’ve joined Volunteer groups, but left after feeling unwelcome (I was advised to teach English instead). I’ve tried bribing 保安 with chocolate bars, and rescuing animals. There’s nothing you can do ‘ingratiate’ yourself into a society that doesn’t exist. That’s the takeaway here. Nothing exists outside your front door. No community. No pride. No guanxi.
Nobody thinks I’m a thief or a bum, that’s because I wear a fuckin button up shirt and slacks. And I have a fucking messenger bag. It’s that stupid and shallow. I’m a workaholic and about the only thing that pisses me off is the barricade of people walking too slowly in front of me.
How do I deal with the 100 day checks? Just keep your F’n head down. Do your work and shut the F up. And keeping looking forward to your next trip back to the real world.
Welcome to China.
“With regard to our accused laowai rapist, I have already had a few conversations with Chinese people where I affirm that rape is wrong, that this guy is a mess, that he deserved to get caught, and absolutely should be punished according to law if found guilty”
No one in the world thinks that rape is a good thing. So well done with the ‘meeting of the minds’ thing. It’s important to note that, in a country that has no laws, the “legal process” is irrelevant. The guy will be lucky if he leaves Peking International Airport with his testicles attached.
The most interesting part of the video is that the girl is visibly upset/crying, which means, okay, this was actually rape, and not “PDA” (as many have surmised). Done. Case closed.
“loud house parties”
Oh.. God how I wish Chinese people had a ‘problem’ with noise. They don’t. They call it 忍 and it leads to some borderline sociopathic behavior. I get woken up sometimes by the dear old gran next door (630am) blasting some retarded ‘Variety Hour’ TV show. I know she has a hearing problem. But when you’re blasting that shit at 630 AM, you’re almost showing contempt for everyone else in the building. That’s the real problem. Here in China, there is contempt for society, the community itself.
I will step in and guve good people a hand, why should’t I!
An inspired article. Kudos.
In the first year or two that I was in China I probably would have had a negative reaction to this article. (I have been a dick at times….haven’t we all?)
I have my ups and downs. These days mostly ups because the stupid things that bothered me were, well stupid. If someone pushes in front of me getting on the bus or pulls out into the road without looking while dialing his phone almost causing an accident. Who cares? Not me now. And no one seems to care either.
TIC (This is China) …..by putting our own morality and values onto another culture isn’t that just too arrogant? You aren’t going to change things to the way you like them if you spit the dummy when something annoys you.
Since I stopped worrying about this crap my life is much happier. I feel liberated.
Who was it that said: Be polite to everyone, especially to those who are rude to you – not because they are good, but because you are.
Anyway you get my meaning.
After 3 years in China, I’ve come to the following conclusion:
No matter how good you are or how well you behave, this will simply not change the most basic reality of this country. Chinese do not like foreigners, they are racist and therefore, foreigners are not welcome in China and will probably never be.
China is a society that has historically and culturally always been closed to the outside world.
Add to that the blind nationalistic propaganda that depicts laowai (foreigners)as the rapists of this country then no wonder we are treated in such fashion.
To conclude with, I could go on for days about what I disliked about China and its people but the fact is simply that I left this country because of the lack of quality of life and respect for the individual.
I went back to my society that is civilized, tolerant of difference, where individual rights and human rights are respected.
I hope that China one day becomes that country, it would be interested to see that in my lifetime (although I doubt it)